The War at Home

As school starts up again, Dave is excited that the kids will be out of the house until he and Vicki realize that all of them have their own agendas. Mike questions his current romantic relationship, which upsets Dave because the girl involved is the daughter of Dave's new best friend. But when Dave meddles in Mike's life for the sake of his "man-crush" on the girl's father, he does unexpected damage. Meanwhile, Hilary changes her study habits after catching a glimpse of her future and Larry reinvents himself for the new school year.

When Larry decides to run for president, Dave is supportive of his son's interest in leadership, until he learns that Larry is actually running for president of the Chess Club. Dave makes a strategic move to prevent Larry from becoming the biggest geek in school. Meanwhile, Hillary thinks she's going to become the next pop star, and after finding an empty condom wrapper in Mike's pants, Dave and Vicki face the dreaded sex talk.

When Kenny's dad cancels on taking the boys to a comic book convention, Larry asks Dave to take them instead. At first, Dave refuses but after hearing Larry call him a hero, he quickly decides to be a good father and take the boys. But when his fatherly duties go beyond simply dropping them off, Dave is pushed to the limit when it means missing the Jets football game and pretending he's a comic book geek. Back at home, Vicky introduces Mike to coffee and Hillary wants to have a sleepover with a guy.

Dave and Vicky decide to give Hillary the car she wants as long as she agrees to sign a contract so they can completely control her life. She reluctantly signs, but Dave and Vicky realize they may have gone too far with the restrictions. Meanwhile Larry goes against the "bros before hos" code and dates Mike's ex-girlfriend, Heidi.

Dave and Vicky rush to the hospital when they find out Hillary's date overdosed, only to discover that that date was fake and Hillary is really dating an older man.

Dave accuses an incensed Hillary of cheating on her SATs after she gets a surprisingly high score. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave meet a couple who may be interested in more than friendship, and Dave asks Larry to take a client's daughter out on a date, only to find out that she isn't an ideal match for him.

When Dave thinks he sees Hillary in a "Girls Gone Crazy" video, he's beyond relieved to learn that he's mistaken - but completely freaked out at being turned on by girls his daughter's age. After he throws out all of his "visual aids," Dave looks to Vicky for inspiration, which was fine at first, but is now starting to tire her out. Meanwhile, an edited-for-television version of "Goodfellas" inspires Larry to replace swear words with the word "love," and Hillary prevents Mike from taking drugs by passing PMS medication off as mood enhancers.

Kenny's dad, Achmed, pulls up the rose bushes between his home and Dave and Vicky's, believing the property is his after an assessment. When Dave and Vicky disagree, the two families declare war on each other, putting Larry and Kenny in the middle. Meanwhile, Hillary jokingly tells Dave to choose her next boyfriend since he's never happy with the boys she picks. Dave meets a boy who reminds him of himself, and against her better judgment, Hillary agrees to go out with him.

Dave refuses to take a wine appreciation course with Vicky, who fears they are in a rut and could use the bonding time, and then he makes fun of her when she goes without him. Meanwhile, Dave assumes Larry is serving his new, older ladyfriend more than just the gourmet meals he prepares for her, and Dave is offended that Hillary never mentions him in her video blog.

Dave is tired of Larry and Mike's constant fighting and suggests that Mike try harder to have a relationship with his brother. Much to Dave's disappointment, Mike actually prefers hanging out with Larry to practicing for basketball tryouts, and worries that Larry's nerdy ways are starting to rub off on him. Meanwhile, Hillary sets out to prove she's more than just a pretty face by trying to get a blind guy interested in dating her.

After hearing that Dave thinks he's gay, Kenny confronts him about it and ends up coming out of the closet to him. Dave advises to Kenny to tell his parents, but they don't take the news well and kick Kenny out of the house. Meanwhile, Hillary dates the blind guy she met at the coffeehouse, but she quickly tires of having to describe everything to him.

Kenny moves in to the Gold house and Vicky promptly sets out to redecorate the basement for him but her ideas don't meet his standards. Larry, Hillary and Mike try to get Kenny to tone it down and stop doing chores and laughing at Dave's bad jokes, as it's showing them up. Meanwhile, Dave lets everyone at work know he's taken in the orphaned gay kid so that he he'll look like a good guy and hopefully get the newly vacant, larger office.

As Hillary prepares for an interview with a college admissions committee, Dave puts pressure on her to do well and sets up mock interviews, which only make her more nervous. The talk of kids leaving for college makes Vicky nostalgic for the good old days when the family spent more time together, so she organizes a movie night and they all watch Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." Dave finds the film profound and forces the family to live an eco-friendly existence, but he takes things too far.

Tired of the kids constantly asking him for money, Dave puts them on strict allowance. Vicky supports her husband until she, too, is put on a budget and is unable to buy the Prada boots she's had her eyes on for years. When Larry spends his entire allowance the first day at Medieval Times, he asks Mike for money and Mike turns into a loan shark, while Hillary starts an escort service for the nerdy boys at school to earn extra money.

Principal Fink suspends Larry from school for 30 days when pot is found in his jacket pocket, although it's actually Dave's jacket, which Larry wore by mistake. Dave tries home-schooling Larry, but first he and Vicky talk to a priest about enrolling him in parochial school - the same priest Mike thinks is hitting on him.

Vicky's mom Betty and her boyfriend Sid (George Segal) announce their engagement and upcoming wedding in St. Martin and invite the entire family to join them. But when Sid goes too far with a stripper, Dave wonders whether or not to tell Betty and risk losing the free trip. Kenny goes on a date with an ex-boyfriend of Hillary's so Dave has an awkward conversation with him about gay safe-sex, while Hillary worries she may have a knack for turning men gay.

The kids are excited about the school's Sadie Hawkins dance, and even Kenny has a date. Once word gets out that Kenny's planning on attending with another guy, he and his date are barred from the event for not keeping with the Sadie Hawkins tradition. An outraged Larry stages a protest against the discrimination, and Dave goes to the school to argue Kenny's case. Once Principal Fink (Martin Mull) finds out that Kenny has been living with the Golds, he informs Dave that he's obligated to tell Child Services, and that Kenny will have to be put in foster care. So Dave tries to get Kenny's parents to let him come home.

When the insurance company Dave works for begins reducing commissions and cutting back on bagel breakfasts, Dave and two of his co-workers decide to quit and start their own business. Meanwhile, Hillary isn't getting any college acceptance letters and decides to join the Army instead after meeting a cute recruiter at the coffee shop, and Larry doesn't want to get his driver's license.

Larry posts a song he composed on a website and scores a meeting with a music executive who wants him to make a demo. Dave thinks Larry needs lyrics for his instrumental compositions and offers to help, revealing that in high school he considered himself the original white rapper, "The White Shadow." Dave wants to show Larry the support his own father didn't show him. Meanwhile, Mike is tired of being mistaken for an Olsen twin and decides to bulk up. A friend tells him a way to beef up is to abstain from masturbating, and Dave and Vicky think his crankiness is due to roid-rage - but some of the tension is released when Tila Tequila pays Mike a visit in a dream. Hillary is suspicious when Taye says he loves her and she wonders if he has ulterior motives.

After Vicky and Dave have a car accident, they decide it's time to revisit their living wills and other legal documents. They also decide to ask their friends Jeff and Mindy to be guardians of their children if they ever become incapacitated. Jeff and Mindy explain that they can't accept because they've already agreed to do the same thing for other friends. Disagreements start to flair up between Vicky and Dave once they start working with an attorney, and they end up having a big fight. Larry finds a draft of a post-nup agreement and assumes his parents are getting a divorce. To save their family, he and the other kids set a "parent trap" to force Dave and Vicky back together.

Larry reveals that he suffers from social anxiety disorder and Dave and Vicky put him on medication to help him become more comfortable with who he is, but Larry refuses to take them and accuses his parents of wanting to change him. Meanwhile, as Hillary prepares for prom, Dave is convinced she plans on losing her virginity on prom night and Vicky has an awkward talk about sex with her. Dave makes fun of Mike for taking fencing class.

With Hillary's graduation only three weeks away, David and Vicky plan her graduation party, only to find out she may not even graduate because she's failing her gym class. Luckily, Dave is able to convince the principal to give her another chance, and volunteers to become Hillary's personal fitness trainer so she can pass. Meanwhile, Vicky is fed up with the lack of spontaneity in her and Dave's relationship, and she suggests that he get a vasectomy. Not wanting to go through the procedure alone, Dave suggests that Vicky get her tubes tied as well. However, both are in for a surprise when they try to outsmart one another. Meanwhile, with Mike's help, Larry and Kenny plan a school prank to get revenge on the seniors who have been harassing them.